It's hard to tell that child is a boy. In case it is hard to read, that is a divorce decree in the man's hand. The purpose of this image is to reflect the actions of a boy crisis.

The Ennis News rejected this article for publication because it discussed a sensitive topic in the current social climate. Assuredly, their reasons were valid. Newspapers, especially local papers, have to tread a fine line to avoid offending readers and advertisers. Apparently, Boy Crisis is too risky to print. Judge for yourselves.

Here We Go. Remove Small Children!

I consider this topic too important to remain silent about. Of course, I don’t intend to offend anyone. I hope my readers will see my point of view. Furthermore, I make an effort to help place the correct priority on the problems we address in our society.

Recently I watched a TED talk during which the speaker used the term “dad-deprived boys.” I’ve read other information over time about how many young men and boys have grown up without the benefit of a father’s influence. Three reasons were given for single mothers raising children alone. The father was killed in war or an illness or accident. The biological father was a sperm donor only. Third, divorces where the fathers weren’t in their children’s lives.

He missed a few reasons just as valid, such as the father being abusive and dangerous or just walking out. One more thing I just remembered is births, for which the father is unknown.

The Statistics

I’ve seen numerous statistics showing a dramatic increase in single-mother households from the mid to late 1900s increased. If I were writing a book on the subject of children raised without a father, I’d spend time providing those sources and statistics. I simply don’t have room in this article for that. After all, I imagine most of you probably are already at least somewhat familiar with the subject.

For African-American single-mother households, I have seen statistics as low in 2019 at 64% and as high as 75% in other years. Latino numbers are at 42-50%, and whites are at 24-30%, excluding Asians. Asians come in the lowest at 15% of households. I hope you are not offended by these statistics. With this many absent fathers, who do you think they look to for role models?

Teaching Boys to Be Men

Numerous studies have shown that boys without fully present male role models living in the home are far less likely to make good fathers and husbands. I have no argument whether women are as capable as men in most roles in life. It does appear, though, that they do not fully replace men in the ability to teach boys to become skilled in their adult relationships and responsibilities as men.

This places no blame on those single mothers. Mothers and fathers in the best relationships balance the skills each has in rearing children. By their nature, mothers are generally more nurturing and protective of their children. The father’s role is to bring self-reliance, relationship skills with women, and face life’s responsibilities. This is not to say mothers, in many cases, have not parented well in assuming both roles and turning out outstanding men. By statistics, though, that is not the norm and places an undue burden on any single parent.

You may argue the points I’ve made about roles and statistics. The overriding fact is that boys look up to men for how to behave and function in their lives in male roles. If the only men in their lives devalue or abuse females, are criminals, or are fathers who abandoned their families, then who do they model themselves after? Do they look at celebrities with fanciful lives as the best role models, or worse, do they think pornography portrays realistic, successful relationships, average sexual situations, or the proper treatment of women?

Girls Without Fathers

Lest you think I forgot about girls. The above, in its entirety, applies to girls. Who do girls need to look up to for male role models? Fathers, that’s who! Nuff said! (BTW, the above excellent link applies to boys as well)

Oh, My, What to Do?

What is causing the problem? Men and women are both responsible for creating a solution. Some might say society, government, or our culture is at fault. Well, society, governments, and cultures are made up of individuals who make decisions that allow the situation to exist and perpetuate it.

We must focus on promoting and keeping both parents working together and raising responsible and well-balanced boys and girls. Do I have the answers? No, I admit I do not. I can only hope that parents who read this article will make an effort to keep the men in their boys’ lives. I hope those who read this will pass on the links provided. They say it better than me.

If they have two parents in their lives, they are our future adults, and they will be better prepared and more capable of solving the other issues besetting our society.

 

Jerry Society & Culture

3 Replies

  1. So sad we can’t speak truth because someone might be offended. I feel that’s one reason things are spiraling out of control. The truth might hurt but it’s so necessary to hear if we want to make the necessary changes to improve our lives.

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